• Home
  • Longform
    • Defanging the Unthinkable
      more
      View more

      Defanging the Unthinkable

      7 years ago
    • A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye
      more
      View more

      A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye

      7 years ago
    • The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"
      more
      View more

      The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"

      7 years ago
    • The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"
      more
      View more

      The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"

      7 years ago
  • Interviews
    • A New Way of Telling Love Stories
      more
      View more

      A New Way of Telling Love Stories

      7 years ago
    • Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"
      more
      View more

      Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"

      7 years ago
    • Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast
      more
      View more

      Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast

      7 years ago
    • The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"
      more
      View more

      The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"

      7 years ago
  • Critic-At-Large
    • Now Playing: "From Nowhere"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "From Nowhere"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "War on Everyone"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "War on Everyone"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "The Salesman"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "The Salesman"

      7 years ago
  • Podcast
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"

      7 years ago
Movie Mezzanine
  • Home
  • Longform
    • Defanging the Unthinkable
      more
      View more

      Defanging the Unthinkable

      7 years ago
    • A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye
      more
      View more

      A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye

      7 years ago
    • The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"
      more
      View more

      The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"

      7 years ago
    • The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"
      more
      View more

      The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"

      7 years ago
  • Interviews
    • A New Way of Telling Love Stories
      more
      View more

      A New Way of Telling Love Stories

      7 years ago
    • Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"
      more
      View more

      Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"

      7 years ago
    • Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast
      more
      View more

      Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast

      7 years ago
    • The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"
      more
      View more

      The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"

      7 years ago
  • Critic-At-Large
    • Now Playing: "From Nowhere"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "From Nowhere"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "War on Everyone"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "War on Everyone"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "The Salesman"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "The Salesman"

      7 years ago
  • Podcast
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"

      7 years ago
  • Home
  • Longform
    • Defanging the Unthinkable
      more
      View more

      Defanging the Unthinkable

      7 years ago
    • A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye
      more
      View more

      A Fitting, Impressive Goodbye

      7 years ago
    • The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"
      more
      View more

      The Ambivalent, Bittersweet "My Life as a Zucchini"

      7 years ago
    • The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"
      more
      View more

      The Complex Morality of "No Country for Old Men"

      7 years ago
  • Interviews
    • A New Way of Telling Love Stories
      more
      View more

      A New Way of Telling Love Stories

      7 years ago
    • Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"
      more
      View more

      Breaking Standards with Julian Rosefeldt of "Manifesto"

      7 years ago
    • Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast
      more
      View more

      Indulging Mightily with Alex Ross Perry and the "Golden Exits" Cast

      7 years ago
    • The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"
      more
      View more

      The Ultimate Meta-Performance: Kate Lyn Sheil on "Kate Plays Christine"

      7 years ago
  • Critic-At-Large
    • Now Playing: "From Nowhere"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "From Nowhere"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "Fifty Shades Darker"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "War on Everyone"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "War on Everyone"

      7 years ago
    • Now Playing: "The Salesman"
      more
      View more

      Now Playing: "The Salesman"

      7 years ago
  • Podcast
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 287: "Kundun"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 286: "Pinocchio"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 285: "That Darn Cat"

      7 years ago
    • Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"
      more
      View more

      Mousterpiece Cinema, Episode 284: "The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement"

      7 years ago
<b>Movie Mettle:</b> 5 Cringeworthy Movies To Test Your Limits
  • Features

Movie Mettle: 5 Cringeworthy Movies To Test Your Limits

  • by Natalie Zutter
  • March 13, 2013
  • 0
  • 1471

Movie Mettle is a weekly column for moviegoers with weak constitutions. Wish you had the balls to sit through the goriest of horror movies? Want to build up your resistance to weepy rom-coms? Each week we’ll give you a range of five movies that will test your limits, you cinematic thrillseeker, you.

While racking my brain to come up with a type of movie to tackle this week, I thought back to the Movie Mettle list of weepy films. What kind of cinematic experience could prompt a similar, full-body reaction? Then I realized: awkwardness. Ridiculously lo-fi costumes, absurd sexual scenarios, dialogue that should never have been greenlit let alone put into actor’s mouths. It all prompts such a visceral response in the viewer: Squirming, eyes screwed shut, turning your head away as if you could tune out the sound, muttering “nonono” futilely.

So I give you five movies that will have you scrabbling for escape like Buffalo Bill’s captive in Silence of the Lambs. As always, it ranges from the only slightly awkward to the oh god why why. This is only a small list, and based on my personal experience. Please share your cringeworthy films in the comments, because I need me a challenge.

Warm-Up: Zack and Miri Make A Porno

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4msQUCUAjE&hl=en_US&version=3]

Confession: I actually love this movie. It’s astonishingly sweet and sold Seth Rogen as a viable love interest in ways Knocked Up couldn’t. But I also remember watching it the first time with hunched shoulders and headphones. Because it’s a movie about a bunch of average folks who set out to document all the flailing, panting, questionable-facial-expression awkwardness of sex. It’s definitely the kind of movie where you have to gauge if your buddies are on your wavelength of humor before popping in the DVD. To make things even more awkward for you, I’ve included the red-band trailer.

Novice: There’s Something About Mary

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGjXwDYpOLE&version=3&hl=en_US]

Long before Ben Stiller made the worst first impression in Meet the Parents, he was the hapless hero of this raunchy rom-com. For all that Cameron Diaz’s titular Mary has every guy going after her, of course her soulmate is poor Ted (Stiller), who has to deal with every possible obstacle on his way to actually sealing the deal. It’s like the Final Destination of cockblocking, where the universe conspires with unfortunate zipper accidents, questionable hair gel, and a damn dog. It’s awkward because in some way or another, we’ve all been there.

Intermediate: Borat

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TDcioAgsVU&version=3&hl=en_US]

It makes sense that smack dab in the middle of the list would be a movie that’s actively trying to play chicken with its viewers. Back when we didn’t know to anticipate such antics from Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat got awkward fast with Cohen’s foreign alter ego tricking students into spewing racist rants, not to mention a naked wrestling scene that gets way too close for comfort.

Expert: Eraserhead

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7OqGCIcak&hl=en_US&version=3]

I know I’m supposed to give this a pass because it’s David Lynch, but all I can remember is gasping and cringing my way through this at the IFC Film Center. A guy named Spencer suffers through dinner with his girlfriend Mary X’s family? There’s a question mark because I truly don’t remember much of this movie, so forcefully was I nope-ing out of there.

BAMF: The Star Wars Holiday Special

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXcb7VPw59s&hl=en_US&version=3]

Technically a television special, this awkward experiment in how not to capitalize on a franchise has to beat the other movies on this list. Han, Leia, and Luke go to Chewbacca’s home planet to celebrate Life Day — Chewie’s family have names like “Itchy” and “Lumpy” — Leia sings the Star Wars theme — Vader pops in — gah, it’s just the worst. Just try to get through all of it with your self-respect intact. And thank God that it was broadcast only once.

Have a genre of movie, specific trope, or actor that you wish you could sit through? Leave your request in the comments and I might take it on in a future column!

Tags
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Related posts

  • MovieMezzanine
1
Top 5 Movies Based on True Stories

Top 5 Movies Based on True Stories

4 years ago
  • AmirGanjavie
0
László Nemes and Géza Röhrig <br>on “Son of Saul”

László Nemes and Géza Röhrig
on “Son of Saul”

8 years ago
  • AdamNayman
0
“Showgirls” At 20: It’s Better Than You Think

“Showgirls” At 20: It’s Better Than You Think

8 years ago

One thought on “Movie Mettle: 5 Cringeworthy Movies To Test Your Limits”

  1. Christopher Runyon on March 15, 2013 at 12:46 AM said:

    Ugh, the “stir whip stir whip whip whip stir” scene in the Holiday Special still gives me shivers. All the cringes.

About Us

Movie Mezzanine is an online publication dedicated to covering the medium that connects us all, one film at a time. With writers stationed around the globe, we offer a uniquely diverse perspective on cinema, both old and new. To learn more about us, go here.

Spotlight

Putting the Geek to the Plow

Cleantalk Pixel