Movie Mettle is a weekly column for moviegoers with weak constitutions. Wish you had the balls to sit through the goriest of horror movies? Want to build up your resistance to weepy rom-coms? Each week we’ll give you a range of five movies that will test your limits, you cinematic thrillseeker, you.
When I first kicked off this column with five gory films, I promised that one day the pendulum would swing over to the realm of horror. The two genres poke at rather disparate parts of the human brain and engage different versions of the “fight or flight” response. Maybe you weren’t able to make it all the way to our BAMF entry for gore but are ready to crack your knuckles and dive into this list.
Because it takes a certain kind of mettle to get through scary movies like these. Whereas you can remind yourself that gore is ultimately just make-up and special effects, the suspense stirred up by these kinds of movies draws its power from your overactive imaginations. You unwittingly make these movies even scarier — which is why it’s time to learn just how far you can push yourselves.
Horror being such a vast genre, I’ve compiled choices based on my own healthy consumption over the years. So bear in mind that it will be necessarily limited. And please be sure to join the comment thread and share your scary movies — and, if possible, where on the spectrum they fall.
Warm-Up: Paranormal Activity
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_UxLEqd074&version=3&hl=en_US]Yes, this found-footage franchise built its marketing campaign on video of movie audiences screaming their heads off. But trust me on this, its scariness is limited only to the 99 minutes in which it takes place. Jump scares aside, the moment the credits roll, you’ll wonder why you were curled up in a ball. It’s a great warm-up because you can be terrified but then not be scared to walk through your house with the lights off afterward.
Novice: The Sixth Sense
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG9AGf66tXM&version=3&hl=en_US]Similarly, M. Night Shyamalan’s debut is scary within certain parameters — that is, not knowing the ending. Once you realize what’s up with Bruce Willis’ psychologist, the movie loses some of its punch. Then again, the 14-year-old (!) film still holds up in the eeriness department, thanks to all the solemn, gruesome ghosts lurking on the edge of little Haley Joel Osment’s world.
See also: Nicole Kidman turning in a hell of a performance in The Others, which is predicated on similar plotting and twists.
Intermediate: El Orfanato
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXfHOY3CC0g&hl=en_US&version=3]None of this “The Orphanage” bullshit — watch J.A. Bayona’s excellent film in the original Spanish with English subtitles. Of course, this will require you to not cover your eyes with your fingers so you can actually read the text. You’ll want to stay on top of all the twists and revelations in this chilling story of Laura (Belén Rueda), who returns to the orphanage in which she was raised as a child, only to find the place most likely haunted. What’s worse, the spirits go after her son Simón. This film measures out its scares, delving on our natural repulsion to images like the little creature Tomás in his sack mask and Laura’s disjointed childhood memories.
And the twist. Oh, the twist. It will chill you to the core.
Expert: The Descent
As io9 points out, what makes this horror film truly scary isn’t so much the bloodthirsty creatures stalking a group of thrillseeking women. It’s watching the ladies’ intergroup dynamic, including some unusual backstabbing and dirty secrets, crumble while they’re stuck so far underground. There must be a rule that as much as horror requires a depraved villain, it equally requires messed-up victims.
BAMF: Four-Way Tie
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVB82PxW77g&version=3&hl=en_US] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDGw1MTEe9k&hl=en_US&version=3]Honestly, I couldn’t come up with just one horror movie to be ranked above all the others, because in this genre moreso than others, it’s such a subjective choice. So let me run several by you, all of which are celebrated classics. Try Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho for the plotting and disturbing ending; even if you think you know all the beats from the movie, it holds up. For all the classic horror tropes, check out The Shining. And for nightmare fodder, The Exorcist and Poltergeist work just fine.
Any of these will require all your willpower to sit through without screaming too much. But if you work your way through the list as instructed, you’ll be ready.
Have a genre of movie, specific trope, or actor that you wish you could sit through? Leave your request in the comments and I might take it on in a future column!
One thought on “Movie Mettle: 5 Terrifying Movies To Test Your Limits”
Unf. The Orphanage. Just…unf.