Few filmmakers seem capable of rising above the sad state of affairs that is modern indie horror, the rest seem caught up in a boundless mode of non-creativity and excessive aping that’s neither welcome nor admirable. Joe Begos’ Almost Human is the latest in the long lineage of forgettable low-budget indie fare, a hilariously slight blend of sci-fi and horror that appears drained of ideas a third of the way through (never mind the already stretched 80 minute runtime).
The film isn’t aiming for anything lofty as it declares from the start. Its characters and narrative will be routine and woefully concocted. Ti West is a filmmaker whom Begos could learn a thing or two from, a director whose films wisely balance style, humor, and scares in an often effortless manner. Almost Human contains none of these traits, existing as some sort of low-rent Eli Roth imitation that miraculously leaves us wishing we were watching one of Roth’s films instead.
While Begos undoubtedly sports a laundry list of films and filmmakers he’s paying homage to with this first film, the plot of Almost Human is incessantly thin and uninspired. The film follows Mark Fisher (Josh Ethier), a burly ginger-bearded man living in Maine who is abducted by aliens in 1987. In the wake of his disappearance, Mark’s hometown was left baffled and horrified by the details that surrounded the event: Mark was last seen shrouded in the glow of a mystifying blue light preceded by a piercing screaming noise. The film picks up two years later with Mark being found naked in a forest by two hunters, each of whom he dispatches of in brutal fashion. Thus begins Mark’s ho-hum human harvesting phase, which results in the victims being stored in a dark shed awaiting their transformation into alien pods.
Also left reeling after the abduction were Mark’s friends Seth (Graham Skipper) and Jen (Vanessa Leigh), the former resembling a zoned out and Xanax laden Will Forte who suffers from reoccurring nosebleeds, a trait that is the extent of his characterization. After some local murders begin piling up due to Mark’s altered state and violent streak, Seth and Jen look to put the pieces together and stave off Mark before they’re offed as well.
While there’s no shortage of throats being slashed, heads getting exploded, and blood being splattered, Almost Human’s reprehensible execution, performances, and dialogue are inexplicably absent of the tone that Begos appears to be inspired by and looking to emulate. This is yet another genre output corrupted by the notion that its endearing straight face approach to the material deserves our acceptance of how empty and banal it truly is. In other words, it’s baffling how simple and joyless the screenplay from Begos really is. If nothing else, Almost Human should live on as an exact replica of dozens of other bargain bin titles and Netflix Instant offerings that we’ll rapidly sift through for the foreseeable future without ever giving serious consideration to.
